The Golden Rule in Christian Dating
One Lord, one faith, one baptism — and a billion different dating tips. The first rule in dating is the first rule in all of life: You will not truly love anyone else if you do not love God first and most. And no one will truly love you if they do not love Curistian more than they love you. The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus. He captures our heart ; we find our deepest joy in him.
We hide our soul in him, and stop trying to save or prove ourselves. We devote our minds to knowing him more and more, and plead with him to conform our mind and will to his. We put all our strength into his goal and plan for our life: If our heart is not there — if our soul is christian dating biblical guidelines already safe through faith, if our mind is distracted and focused chhristian other, lesser things, if our best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports, shopping, entertainment, relationships, and not on God — we simply will not date well.
Do you want to date and marry well? But after embracing and applying the first and greatest commandment, I have found that the golden rule in dating is this:. Do we love him more than anything? Will we obey him, even when it will cost us? Are we willing to set anything christian dating biblical guidelines for his sake? Will we trust him, even biblicl we want something else for ourselves? The scary reality is that we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise.
Christian dating biblical guidelines biblica we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest. Instead of getting the qualified perspective and direction guidepines desperately need from people around us, we walk away eating a candy bar for dinner, again, and washing it down with Dr. Real friendship, with real life-on-life accountability, may not offer the same amount of information or advice, and you will not always like what it has to say, but it will bring one new critical dimension to your dating relationships: These people know you cating a sinner, and sinners who are never being confronted or frustrated by inconvenient truths are sinners drifting further from God, not towards him.
Dating often isolates us from other Christians in our lives. The bblical we become with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the more removed we are from other important relationships. Satan loves this, and encourages it at every turn. One way to walk wisely in dating is to oppose absolutely everything Satan might want for you.
Fight the impulse to date in a corner by yourselves, and instead draw one another into those important relationships. The people willing to actually hold me accountable in dating have been my best friends. They stepped in when I was spending too much guideelines with a girlfriend or started neglecting other important areas of my life. They raised a flag when a relationship seemed unhealthy. They have relentlessly pointed me to Jesus, even when they knew it might upset me — reminding me not to put my hope in any relationship, to pursue patience and purity, and to communicate and lead well.
And I wish I would have listened to them more in dating. Maybe term — accountability — has dried out and gone stale in your life. But to be accountable is to guudelines authentically, deeply, consistently known by someone who cares enough to keep us from making mistakes or indulging in sin. You desperately need truth, wisdom, correction, and perspective. The Bible warns us to weave all our desires, needs, and decisions deep into a fabric of family who love us and will help us follow Jesus — a family Chrsitian builds for each of us in a local church Hebrews To challenge and correct them: And to build them up: And as inconvenient, unnecessary, unhelpful, and even unpleasant as it may feel at times, God has sent gifted, experienced, Christ-loving men and women into your life too, for your good — and for the good of your boyfriend or girlfriend and God willing, your future spouse.
The God who sends these kinds of friends and family into our lives knows what we need far better than we ever will. We all need courageous, persistent, and hopeful friends and counselors in the dangerous and murky waters of dating. Christian Hedonism Sovereignty of God Prayer The Bible The Gospel Suffering View All Topics Arrow Right.
Ask Pastor John Listen to John Piper answer tough theological and pastoral questions. Look at the Book Watch John Piper mark the text on the screen, and christian dating biblical guidelines to study the Bible for yourself. Solid Joys Read a short devotional from John Piper for every day of the year. Browse All Resources Topics Scripture Series Authors Dates Languages. Try Searching dating marriage porn prayer sex depression fasting suffering homosexuality anxiety Advent Thanksgiving.
November 16, The Golden Rule in Christian dating biblical guidelines Dating Close. Marshall Segal is a writer and managing editor at desiringGod. He and his wife Faye have a son and live in Minneapolis. Seven Prayers for Christian Dating Marshall Segal Jun 23, League of Extraordinary Gentle Men Marshall Segal Jun 18, The Nightmare Driving the American Dream Marshall Segal May 24, The Most Satisfying Single Years Marshall Segal May 17, The Making of a Modern Christian dating biblical guidelines Marshall Segal May 10, Kill Pride Before It Kills You Marshall Segal May 3, Not Yet Married Marshall Segal Jun 30, How Far Is Too Far?
Marshall Segal Jun 28, Date for at least a year. Date exclusively in groups. Make sure you get plenty of time one on one. How can you know you have chemistry without kissing? Put clear boundaries into place. Spend lots of time together. Be careful how much time you spend together.